Over the past week I have done a bit of dumpster diving.1 You can judge me outright for sticking my hand into other peoples garbage, or you can withhold judgment just long enough to see what cool stuff I got.2
1. A Free Chick-Fil-A Sandwich
Of my long list of unwholesome obsessions, Chick-Fil-A3 is near if not at the top. I could and probably will write an entire post about the irony of a gay guy loving Chick-Fil-A, but what is immediately important to know is that on every couple of receipts is printed an invitation to take an online survey. In return for giving feedback, you get a free chicken sandwich.4 For years I’ve gotten a free sandwich for every four or five meals I’ve had at Chick-Fil-A, but only recently have I stooped to a new low. You guessed it, two days ago I rifled through the Chick-Fil-A trashcan and found a receipt with a survey on it.5 Basically I now have unlimited free Chick-Fil-A sandwiches. And the dumpster diving doesn’t end there.
2. Four Mannequins
After Chick-Fil-A, I drove to the mall.6 After the mall, I drove past the dumpster outside the mall. Long story short, I saw a single mannequin breast7 sticking out of the dumpster, and five minutes later I drove away with four mannequins in my trunk. I looked online, and comparable mannequins are going for anywhere from $60 to $200. So basically I’m cool.
3. The Bohemian Lifestyle
Here we come to confession time: I only dumpster dove for two things, but the title “Two Things Worth Dumpster Diving” sounds horrible.8 So I forced myself to realize that I dumpster dive for another important reason: I don’t want to take myself too seriously. I want to be the kind of person who can, when necessary9 get his hands dirty.
On top of that, I have a free chicken sandwich and four mannequins. Do you? Didn’t think so. That being said, I’d love hear you comment about anything you’ve managed to get for free be it from a yard sale or a landfill.
1Primarily for my dignity.
2Because who doesn’t like cool stuff?
3An surprisingly good fast food restaurant, for those of you who are unfamiliar.
4No purchase necessary
5Is that legal? Someone on the internet told me it was…
6After all I am a cliché American teenager.
7That’s another word for boobs, right?
8Yes, I’m just making up a third, totally unreal item to complete the list.
9Or when totally unnecessary