Social Experiment: Killing Autocorrect

Let’s accept it, our chubby little human fingers were not evolutionarily engineered to tap out epic works of literature on our phones. That being said, autocorrect1 is a gift that gets us closer to passable English. Autocorrect gets heralded as the savior of humanity2 as it allows us all to pretend that we’re a bit smarter than we actually are.autocorrect-03

After that endorsement, my social experiment seems rather stupid. I plan on3 doing away with my phone’s autocorrect function. Time frame: Indefinite.

Why am I doing this? Mostly to pick up chicks.4 Beyond that, Neil Postman’s Technopoly has scared me into thinking I won’t be able to live without this artificial construct of the modern cellular telephone, and I just can’t stand for that.

In preparation I downloaded a dictionary app, listened to Weird Al’s “Word Crimes” seventeen times,5 and attempted to have a seance with the spirit of Noah Webster.6 I’ve asked some of my most textually active friends7 to monitor my spelling and grammar, so we’ll see how things go.

DISCLAIMER: If this seems petty and first-world centric, that’s because it is. Then again, that’s kind of the point.

1Or autocowreck, as is often the case.
2Or at least humanity’s ego.
3Actually it’s been 2 whole days and I’m going strong.
4Why does anyone engage in social experiments?
5Worth it.
6Dictionary guy. He didn’t show. Why am I not surprised?
7Good friends don’t question your textual orientation, even when you’re wrestling with your textuality. Just beware of TexTDs


18 thoughts on “Social Experiment: Killing Autocorrect

  1. Well, I say what a lovely look at life. Having followed your follow (stalk the stalker as it were) I find a real gem of a blog. Insightful.
    Perspicacious. And bloody funny. From a cool and cloudy London I hope college is grand. Cracking as they say around here. Keep pricking those intolerant bubbles.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I find predictive texting actually makes more interesting conversations than I am actually trying to have 🙂 My phone must have been pre-owned by either a forensic pathologist or a death metal-head, as it ALWAYS wants to put ‘skull’ for ‘all’. Go figure!

    Liked by 1 person

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