Let’s accept it, our chubby little human fingers were not evolutionarily engineered to tap out epic works of literature on our phones. That being said, autocorrect1 is a gift that gets us closer to passable English. Autocorrect gets heralded as the savior of humanity2 as it allows us all to pretend that we’re a bit smarter than we actually are.
After that endorsement, my social experiment seems rather stupid. I plan on3 doing away with my phone’s autocorrect function. Time frame: Indefinite.
Why am I doing this? Mostly to pick up chicks.4 Beyond that, Neil Postman’s Technopoly has scared me into thinking I won’t be able to live without this artificial construct of the modern cellular telephone, and I just can’t stand for that.
In preparation I downloaded a dictionary app, listened to Weird Al’s “Word Crimes” seventeen times,5 and attempted to have a seance with the spirit of Noah Webster.6 I’ve asked some of my most textually active friends7 to monitor my spelling and grammar, so we’ll see how things go.
DISCLAIMER: If this seems petty and first-world centric, that’s because it is. Then again, that’s kind of the point.
1Or autocowreck, as is often the case.
2Or at least humanity’s ego.
3Actually it’s been 2 whole days and I’m going strong.
4Why does anyone engage in social experiments?
5Worth it.
6Dictionary guy. He didn’t show. Why am I not surprised?
7Good friends don’t question your textual orientation, even when you’re wrestling with your textuality. Just beware of TexTDs
Oh my. I love your footnotes. You crack me up.
Thanks for the laugh today. I hope you keep us up-to-date on your findings. 🙂
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Thanks! And I will be sure to share my results with the scientific community.
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They sure don’t work too well in Spanish. Put “ano” instead of “año” and nothing happens. Pity if I wanted to write “year” instead of “asshole”!
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Hello,
Your blog is utterly fantastic! It is incredibly charismatic, I find myself laughing at everything you write. I look forward to seeing more of your posts. Keep blogging my lovely!
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This was brilliant! Good luck in your research. I’ll definitely be sure to look out for TexTD’s! 😉
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Good luck! It should be an interesting and fun experiment!
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Gud call. I nevur use autokorect and my Grammar nd spellung are perfectly.
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Hey! Im nominating you for a liebster award! If you would like to participate check out my blog for your questions at browneyedsista.com ❤
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Well, I say what a lovely look at life. Having followed your follow (stalk the stalker as it were) I find a real gem of a blog. Insightful.
Perspicacious. And bloody funny. From a cool and cloudy London I hope college is grand. Cracking as they say around here. Keep pricking those intolerant bubbles.
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I find predictive texting actually makes more interesting conversations than I am actually trying to have 🙂 My phone must have been pre-owned by either a forensic pathologist or a death metal-head, as it ALWAYS wants to put ‘skull’ for ‘all’. Go figure!
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Another funny post! “autocowreck”: Yes!
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Huh. I didn’t know you could take a class on WordPress… and now I want a witchweed.
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Same. What other things does autocorrect know about that we don’t?
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:O you’re right! the possibilities….. 💡
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Reblogged this on kraexhaust and commented:
I HAVE BEEN INSPIRED BY WILL—AN INSPIRATION THAT SHALL BE EXPLAINED IN MY NEXT POST WHOSE TIME OF BIRTH HAS YET TBD.
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What an awesome post! Gave me a good chuckle 😀
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Hmm… That’s temping. Except I finally taught my phone to spell my name. With a name like mine, that’s a feat. If I turn of autocorrect now, all may be lost.
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Lol those footnotes are epic
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